my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
