How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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