so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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