I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
