Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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