big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
