just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
