How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
