i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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