trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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