Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
