I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
