I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize