how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
