No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
whose parrot is this?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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