he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
