Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
