found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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