Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
