Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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