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Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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