He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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