I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
