my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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