What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
