this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You did what with his pubic hair?
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