i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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