I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
