god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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