puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
