I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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