You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
