Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
