he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
