Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
