so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
