grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
