I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
