Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
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He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
third nipple confirmed
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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