Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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