you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
