Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
