shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
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Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
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After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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