If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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