I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
