Where is the hickey?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Enjoy the penises
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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