We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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