Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
