ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Randomize