When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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