Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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