how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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