oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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