Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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