heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
he had hair everywhere except his balls
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
