I faked an abortion last night.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize